sometimes, i fall into these pits. pits that make it hard to function; that make me want to scream; make me wonder why i am in the place i am. i'm only 23, i don't have a lot of money and sometimes, making it from day-to-day is tough. (perhaps, my shoe closet is to blame for that.)
either way, sometimes it's really annoying when i feel like there are issues coming at every angle. this week has been one of those pits. i have felt swallowed by finances, outrageous gas prices and a lease ending too soon. with an ideal house lined up, i found myself getting cold feet, not wanting to marry a house, in an area i felt i would tire of and with a market as flopsy as a dog's ears.
i didn't think it was possible to have commitment-phobia toward a house. but then again, i get tired of my bed being in the same place after a few months. so running from the altar, i let it go. the thought of leasing-to-own or owning in general scared the hell out of me and i decided that a renter's home is a comforted heart. but, with one mental misery out of the way, i was still faced with the obstacle of finding a place to live in a short period.
again, problem merely solved when i fell in love with a great place and signed a lease in the same day. problem created when the realization hit me that i had to have double rent because i would be renting from two places at the same time.
sinking faller into the pit.
bummer not only because i had increased my financial stress for the month, but now i would have to debate the fabulous pair of shoes i planned to don at jenna's wedding. (i mean, come on, i haven't seen some of these people in years! a girl's gotta have her shoes!)
so on the way home to my first home tonight, i started thinking "why do you jump into things before you are financially stable? why not wait and save your money? why not be more frugal? what are you going to do for two month's rent?"
now deeper and deeper into my mental pit.
i started to scare myself and wonder if i would ever make it. on one end, i am a magazine editor, live a fabulous life with fabulous loves, family and friends (and shoes). but on the other end, i am constantly exhausting myself out with the possibility of what can be, might be or should be.
and then, pulling into bloom, i got my answer. or better yet, a revelation.
there in a mud puddle about the size of a kitchen sink, close to a busy highway, i saw baby canadian geese swimming. they're was barely room for them, and yet they paddled around the water as if they were in the biggest of lakes. they weren't aware of the rushing traffic. they didn't care the water was dirty. they didn't even seem to mind it wasn't a lake. yet, they found comfort in the water and security in knowing that just feet away momma and daddy geese sat perched, watching every car and making sure every baby was accounted for.
and that's when i realized - i might not have it all. i might not be in the big pond, swimming in crystal blue water. but i am in the middle of what i have and though there are obstacles and dangers all around, someone is watching over me. i don't know that i was looking for a spiritual revelation today as much as i was hoping a thousand dollars would fall from the sky, but i'm glad to see that the former happened.
and just maybe i learned a little lesson from a duck in a puddle.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
for the way you look at me
in honor of the holiday, i am sure you would all deeply enjoy a heartfelt love story. perhaps a great story about how i was swept off my feet. a story of dividing, conquering, all-or-nothing romance.
well, you've come to the wrong place.
the thought of valentine's day makes me cringe. from being in elementary school praying that my paper-plate heart-shaped "mailbox" at the front of my desk would be full to walking around campus in college seeing boys carry flowers and balloons around the brickyard ... valentines has just made me sick and queezy.
but, it is the sacred day of love - and a girl loves to get flowers and chocolate (hitched or sans), so here goes - the top ten things i love.
ten. waking up on a rainy day and finding that the coffee is already made, the couch still has my fleece blanket on it from the previous night and "what not to wear" is running a marathon.
nine. anything "bogo." particularly, shoes.
eight. cleaning up my room, going through things and finding things that make me say, "oh, i remember this day."
seven. good news. i love when someone calls me with something good that i feel that they truly deserved.
six. season changes. particularly, winter to spring. summer to fall. there is nothing more beautiful than a blooming flower and a dying leaf. i truly appreciate the work of god's hand when buds blosom and leaves change.
five. something personal. a hand-written letter, a picture of loved ones, a memento to remember an event. these days, even a phone call or text message from someone estranged seems spectacular.
four. anything with reese's on or in it. reese's could be on my tax form and i'd still love it.
three. chick flicks. perhaps, some people may think this is funny because it's third on my list. but, i cannot deny the art of a well-versed chick flick. the kind that makes you smile through the movie, dream about it at night and think to yourself, "if only i could live in this film for a day." (and you know what i am talking about).
two. learning something new. when i was a nanny, there was never a day that i didn't learn something new. whether it was the love of a child or actually learning what it was like to be a mother, there was never a dull moment. now, working as an editor and a pseudo-decorator, i am constantly learning how better to do things, more efficient ways and better tricks to multiple trades.
one. as cliche as it is, the best thing that i love is knowing that i am loved. there are time when i am down, angered or sad that i think, "there is no way that i can keep going." but then, i realize that there is always someone at home waiting to say, "how was your day?" and a loved one waiting to take your mind off of circumstances. there is nothing more comforting than laughing with friends, reminiscing with family members and being cared for by a significant one.
so here it is. this is my list of the things i love. most likely not the ones that you would expect, but for me - it is perfect.
and may your day of love be perfect, too.
well, you've come to the wrong place.
the thought of valentine's day makes me cringe. from being in elementary school praying that my paper-plate heart-shaped "mailbox" at the front of my desk would be full to walking around campus in college seeing boys carry flowers and balloons around the brickyard ... valentines has just made me sick and queezy.
but, it is the sacred day of love - and a girl loves to get flowers and chocolate (hitched or sans), so here goes - the top ten things i love.
ten. waking up on a rainy day and finding that the coffee is already made, the couch still has my fleece blanket on it from the previous night and "what not to wear" is running a marathon.
nine. anything "bogo." particularly, shoes.
eight. cleaning up my room, going through things and finding things that make me say, "oh, i remember this day."
seven. good news. i love when someone calls me with something good that i feel that they truly deserved.
six. season changes. particularly, winter to spring. summer to fall. there is nothing more beautiful than a blooming flower and a dying leaf. i truly appreciate the work of god's hand when buds blosom and leaves change.
five. something personal. a hand-written letter, a picture of loved ones, a memento to remember an event. these days, even a phone call or text message from someone estranged seems spectacular.
four. anything with reese's on or in it. reese's could be on my tax form and i'd still love it.
three. chick flicks. perhaps, some people may think this is funny because it's third on my list. but, i cannot deny the art of a well-versed chick flick. the kind that makes you smile through the movie, dream about it at night and think to yourself, "if only i could live in this film for a day." (and you know what i am talking about).
two. learning something new. when i was a nanny, there was never a day that i didn't learn something new. whether it was the love of a child or actually learning what it was like to be a mother, there was never a dull moment. now, working as an editor and a pseudo-decorator, i am constantly learning how better to do things, more efficient ways and better tricks to multiple trades.
one. as cliche as it is, the best thing that i love is knowing that i am loved. there are time when i am down, angered or sad that i think, "there is no way that i can keep going." but then, i realize that there is always someone at home waiting to say, "how was your day?" and a loved one waiting to take your mind off of circumstances. there is nothing more comforting than laughing with friends, reminiscing with family members and being cared for by a significant one.
so here it is. this is my list of the things i love. most likely not the ones that you would expect, but for me - it is perfect.
and may your day of love be perfect, too.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
get me there
there are two places that absolutely freak me out. salons and dry cleaners. some of you may laugh, others may wonder "what!? why," but i guarantee you, there are a few people out there that just went, "oh my gosh, me too!" by the end of this entry, at least you'll see my point.
let's back track for a minute. for those of you who know me, you'll know that i love accessories. i love accessories often times more than my outfit. and there was one particular accessory that i was dearly in love with. it was my white coat with black and pink flowers all over it. i purchased the splurge trench while studying in oxford summer of 2004 from a department store called "debenhams." it is known as "britain's favourite department store," and shortly after making my purchase, it became mine too.
after bringing it back to the states and wearing it out (both literally and figuaritively), i decided that it was time my coat took a trip to the dry cleaners. carefully, i checked the tag to make sure that it would be okay. at the dry cleaners, i informed the lady that it was purchased in britain. "no worries," she said. "we can treat it."
treat it, they did. three days later, i went to pick up my luxury item to find nothing but a rag in its place. there, wrapped in cellophane, as if a slap in the face, was a off-white coat with what appeared to be dirty flowers. the color ... completely gone. the elegance ... ruined by the machines. it looked as if a worker took the coat and went sledding in the mud. then bleached it once they saw what happened.
needless to say i was livid. but alas, there was nothing the cleaners could do. it was ruined and my fear of dry cleaners was sparked forever. years later, back to just a few months ago, i took my beautiful down comforter to the cleaners. i was so panicked to drop it off, that i drove around with it in my trunk for over two weeks, trying to get up the nerve.
like a mother dropping off a baby, i finally let it go thinking, "dear God, if this comes back off-white, i'm starting a real dry cleaning business." again, i warn the lady that it's down and that if she is unable to treat it, please don't agree to take it. but, she says she can handle it.
i leave. and say a prayer.
on the flip side, there is the salon. i am not sure if this one trumps the cleaners, though i do love my hair as well. it seems that no matter where i go and who i go to, i have the greatest fear that when i leave the salon, i will need to visit the wig shop. i can not even begin to tell you the anxiety that comes over me as i sit in that chair and try to explain how i want my hair fixed. and i've tried it all - from friends to strangers, top of the line to coupon cuts. but no matter where i go, it's the same scenario.
beautician: what do you want done today?
me: just some reshaping. it's curly. i don't want the 'triangle' look.
beautician: ok, i'm going to cut it dry.
me: WHAT!?
from there, it goes downhill. it's as if, hair stylists ask, but don't listen. and no disrespect to them, but it scares me to give my control away. and then to think, i am paying them for this. i am paying to lose control. and sitting in the chair today, having these exact same feelings rush over me, the lightbulb comes on. "stop paying to lose control!"
if only salons and dry cleaners could pay me. as if a, "thanks for letting us control this that belongs to you."
yet, despite the anxiety attacks (and the rare bleached coats), i have to say that overall, i end up pleased with the services of salons and dry cleaners. a cleaned, bright white bedspread back on the bed and no longer in the trunk. a shaped hairstyle, instead of a triangle tucked away by bobbypins. but, like going to the gym ... it's only good once i'm in the door. and the hardest part is getting me there.
let's back track for a minute. for those of you who know me, you'll know that i love accessories. i love accessories often times more than my outfit. and there was one particular accessory that i was dearly in love with. it was my white coat with black and pink flowers all over it. i purchased the splurge trench while studying in oxford summer of 2004 from a department store called "debenhams." it is known as "britain's favourite department store," and shortly after making my purchase, it became mine too.
after bringing it back to the states and wearing it out (both literally and figuaritively), i decided that it was time my coat took a trip to the dry cleaners. carefully, i checked the tag to make sure that it would be okay. at the dry cleaners, i informed the lady that it was purchased in britain. "no worries," she said. "we can treat it."
treat it, they did. three days later, i went to pick up my luxury item to find nothing but a rag in its place. there, wrapped in cellophane, as if a slap in the face, was a off-white coat with what appeared to be dirty flowers. the color ... completely gone. the elegance ... ruined by the machines. it looked as if a worker took the coat and went sledding in the mud. then bleached it once they saw what happened.
needless to say i was livid. but alas, there was nothing the cleaners could do. it was ruined and my fear of dry cleaners was sparked forever. years later, back to just a few months ago, i took my beautiful down comforter to the cleaners. i was so panicked to drop it off, that i drove around with it in my trunk for over two weeks, trying to get up the nerve.
like a mother dropping off a baby, i finally let it go thinking, "dear God, if this comes back off-white, i'm starting a real dry cleaning business." again, i warn the lady that it's down and that if she is unable to treat it, please don't agree to take it. but, she says she can handle it.
i leave. and say a prayer.
on the flip side, there is the salon. i am not sure if this one trumps the cleaners, though i do love my hair as well. it seems that no matter where i go and who i go to, i have the greatest fear that when i leave the salon, i will need to visit the wig shop. i can not even begin to tell you the anxiety that comes over me as i sit in that chair and try to explain how i want my hair fixed. and i've tried it all - from friends to strangers, top of the line to coupon cuts. but no matter where i go, it's the same scenario.
beautician: what do you want done today?
me: just some reshaping. it's curly. i don't want the 'triangle' look.
beautician: ok, i'm going to cut it dry.
me: WHAT!?
from there, it goes downhill. it's as if, hair stylists ask, but don't listen. and no disrespect to them, but it scares me to give my control away. and then to think, i am paying them for this. i am paying to lose control. and sitting in the chair today, having these exact same feelings rush over me, the lightbulb comes on. "stop paying to lose control!"
if only salons and dry cleaners could pay me. as if a, "thanks for letting us control this that belongs to you."
yet, despite the anxiety attacks (and the rare bleached coats), i have to say that overall, i end up pleased with the services of salons and dry cleaners. a cleaned, bright white bedspread back on the bed and no longer in the trunk. a shaped hairstyle, instead of a triangle tucked away by bobbypins. but, like going to the gym ... it's only good once i'm in the door. and the hardest part is getting me there.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
to work or not to work.
yesterday, while sitting on my couch, enjoying my day off - i sat here thinking, "man, i love this life." i got to sleep in, started the day off with some good ol' dr. phil, and enjoyed laying around in my pajamas. about twenty minutes after waking up, my publisher e-mails me that he will not be in attendance to the meeting that he set up on thursday. minutes later, i remember that i forgot to schedule a photographer. seems the only thing i remembered to do accurately was to purchase my outfit for my debut interview with professional athletes (and forget not, i have a HUGE crush on one!)
so much for laying around. immediately i go into panic mode, attempt to find a replacement to go with me to calm my nerves - and schedule a photographer within three days of a massive event. so much for being prompt. soon after panic mode, lauren saves the day by agreeing that she will go with me. thank god for another connection to sports and the media. one task down, many to go. about an hour later, while still makeup-less and in pajamas, my publisher asks if i can come into the office to take a picture for my identification badge that i'll need on thursday.
oh god. i look a "hot mess."
like a miracle, thirty minutes later i am out the door. rushing ... to work. on the way there, my manager calls and asks if i can work tomorrow. unfortunately, i cannot. for an unknown reason even to myself, i scheduled a trip into my past to watch the boys on yet another, day off. now, i'm stuck thinking, "why, oh why, do i do this to myself?"
after getting my id badge, i get lost on my way to my publisher's office. thinking i knew where i was going, only to later realize that my boss moved offices without telling me, i look like a lost mice in a maze of cubicles. and feel incredibly stupid when he has to call me ten feet away to guide me to his new mouse hole.
out the door, and back home to enjoy the rest of my so called day off - and i realize, there's no way i'll get a photographer. "oh well, i'll just go and be star struck. at least i'll look cute," i think to myself. back at home, i then remember that i postponed my other work to go into the office for my other job. two hours later, i have given up and think to myself, "i should have just went to work."
three days ago, i was top sales for the day on a day that i didn't even punch in. now, on a day off, i realize that i had more work than if i was actually at work, getting paid. perhaps i'll start a new trend. work when i am not supposed to work. don't work when i should.
i'll keep you posted on how that goes.
'til then, it's back to dr. phil and relaxing. never mind the fact, that today i am actually getting paid for it.
so far, so good.
so much for laying around. immediately i go into panic mode, attempt to find a replacement to go with me to calm my nerves - and schedule a photographer within three days of a massive event. so much for being prompt. soon after panic mode, lauren saves the day by agreeing that she will go with me. thank god for another connection to sports and the media. one task down, many to go. about an hour later, while still makeup-less and in pajamas, my publisher asks if i can come into the office to take a picture for my identification badge that i'll need on thursday.
oh god. i look a "hot mess."
like a miracle, thirty minutes later i am out the door. rushing ... to work. on the way there, my manager calls and asks if i can work tomorrow. unfortunately, i cannot. for an unknown reason even to myself, i scheduled a trip into my past to watch the boys on yet another, day off. now, i'm stuck thinking, "why, oh why, do i do this to myself?"
after getting my id badge, i get lost on my way to my publisher's office. thinking i knew where i was going, only to later realize that my boss moved offices without telling me, i look like a lost mice in a maze of cubicles. and feel incredibly stupid when he has to call me ten feet away to guide me to his new mouse hole.
out the door, and back home to enjoy the rest of my so called day off - and i realize, there's no way i'll get a photographer. "oh well, i'll just go and be star struck. at least i'll look cute," i think to myself. back at home, i then remember that i postponed my other work to go into the office for my other job. two hours later, i have given up and think to myself, "i should have just went to work."
three days ago, i was top sales for the day on a day that i didn't even punch in. now, on a day off, i realize that i had more work than if i was actually at work, getting paid. perhaps i'll start a new trend. work when i am not supposed to work. don't work when i should.
i'll keep you posted on how that goes.
'til then, it's back to dr. phil and relaxing. never mind the fact, that today i am actually getting paid for it.
so far, so good.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
"just as you are."
with age, comes change.
with change, comes memory.
with memory, comes wonder.
many times, i look at my life and think "wow, i have really made something of myself." i remember setting goals when i was sixteen that i wanted to grow up, move to new york and own my own magazine. now, i am 23, i have written, edited and worked on design with six different magazines and currently am the editor of a brand new magazine.
though i dont live in new york, my dream has gradually become a reality through many years of hard work and determination. and though i had a wonderful opportunity to move to new york two years ago and work for a magazine, i decided to trade love for adventure. not just the love of my almost-three-year relationship, but the love of a family, friends, familiarity and sense of belonging to my city, community and world.
to move to new york would have been a great change. it would have also been a great step to a dream. but in that moment, i realized that dreams are meant to change. and with my aging process, the change soon started to feel more and more like the dream i had planned in school years before.
yet, despite this happiness that i have, thanks to the ever-knowing world of technology, sometimes my accomplishments feel like they fall short. when instant messaging started back in the late 1990s, it revolutionized the way my generation viewed communication. we went from face-to-face, passing notes in the hallway, call you when i get home conversations to anytime, anywhere, leave-me-a-message if i am not there.
from there, we started stalking our friends, knowing where they were due to the ever-popular away message. even though we gave up some of our privacy, we still managed suspense as humanity. then all that changed.
i was sitting in the library attempting to study for fall exams in 2005, but found myself tracking the presidential race online alongside a friend of mine. i decided that i was wasting time in the library and decided to go home and give in to my cnn addiction. on my way out the door, a very close friend of mine stopped me and said "hey lindsay, are you on facebook?"
this guru friend of mine is still notorious for finding things just before their big break. i had never heard of this phenomenon, and at the time, not many others had either. only certain colleges were allowed to register, and mine was one. i remember going home, going to the website and thinking "absolutely not!"
then, in the spring of that year, this same friend and i were in a class that we like to refer to as "the death of us all." sitting in internet and society, crawling to graduation, my friend decided to set up a facebook profile for me. without my knowing. and of course, like all things, i eventually got hooked.
today, i still use facebook - and despite my attempt to get away from it, i now find it on my blackberry as well. i will admit i have enjoyed staying in touch with my current friends, but then, there is also a part of me that hates this medium. because so many people i have lost touch with have now reconnected with me in whatever way, sometimes, i feel like by being connected to this world, i have given up a sense of who i am to return to the thought of who i used to be.
i often find myself searching through old classmates photos, and nine times out of 10, see that they have went on to graduate, marry and have children. and though i couldnt be more happier for their personal lifestyles, it sometimes scares me to think that these very friends i used to dream with now have accomplished so many more, different things.
do i want to get married? eventually.
do i want to have children? god willing.
but (and theres always a but), somewhere along my path, my dream started focusing on my being. and my personal life became a little bonus. yet, when i find myself scrolling through these pictures, seeing the wedding gowns and learning the new last names - theres a part of my being (i think because i am female and we were innately trained to grow up, get married and have children) that thinks -- maybe ive fallen short.
and then it happens, this change brings on memory. memory of what used to be. memory of who i was then, how i acted, what i did. and from there, without fail, wonder sets in. and i wonder, do i really have it all?
i shut my computer, and i start to think. maybe my dream was selfish. maybe i was too busy working to find this love. maybe i have let multiple opportunities to have it all pass me by.
as i fall deeper and deeper into wonder, i start to think that i have many things that i must do to reverse this curse.
and then my phone rings. a loved one calls.
and then an email comes. my stories were finished by deadline.
and then my cat crawls up on my lap, to snuggle.
and once again i return to the age part of the cycle, and remember that i do have it all.
i have the very all that i wanted. that i took time to create. flaws and all. and what makes my all so special is the fact that its mine. and my road has a personal history that is not measured by a wedding gown, a baby or a new last name alone.
and should you find yourself lost in pictures of friends long gone, it is my hope that you too find that you have it all. not the all that you were supposed to have, but the all that you have created - right now, just as you are.
with change, comes memory.
with memory, comes wonder.
many times, i look at my life and think "wow, i have really made something of myself." i remember setting goals when i was sixteen that i wanted to grow up, move to new york and own my own magazine. now, i am 23, i have written, edited and worked on design with six different magazines and currently am the editor of a brand new magazine.
though i dont live in new york, my dream has gradually become a reality through many years of hard work and determination. and though i had a wonderful opportunity to move to new york two years ago and work for a magazine, i decided to trade love for adventure. not just the love of my almost-three-year relationship, but the love of a family, friends, familiarity and sense of belonging to my city, community and world.
to move to new york would have been a great change. it would have also been a great step to a dream. but in that moment, i realized that dreams are meant to change. and with my aging process, the change soon started to feel more and more like the dream i had planned in school years before.
yet, despite this happiness that i have, thanks to the ever-knowing world of technology, sometimes my accomplishments feel like they fall short. when instant messaging started back in the late 1990s, it revolutionized the way my generation viewed communication. we went from face-to-face, passing notes in the hallway, call you when i get home conversations to anytime, anywhere, leave-me-a-message if i am not there.
from there, we started stalking our friends, knowing where they were due to the ever-popular away message. even though we gave up some of our privacy, we still managed suspense as humanity. then all that changed.
i was sitting in the library attempting to study for fall exams in 2005, but found myself tracking the presidential race online alongside a friend of mine. i decided that i was wasting time in the library and decided to go home and give in to my cnn addiction. on my way out the door, a very close friend of mine stopped me and said "hey lindsay, are you on facebook?"
this guru friend of mine is still notorious for finding things just before their big break. i had never heard of this phenomenon, and at the time, not many others had either. only certain colleges were allowed to register, and mine was one. i remember going home, going to the website and thinking "absolutely not!"
then, in the spring of that year, this same friend and i were in a class that we like to refer to as "the death of us all." sitting in internet and society, crawling to graduation, my friend decided to set up a facebook profile for me. without my knowing. and of course, like all things, i eventually got hooked.
today, i still use facebook - and despite my attempt to get away from it, i now find it on my blackberry as well. i will admit i have enjoyed staying in touch with my current friends, but then, there is also a part of me that hates this medium. because so many people i have lost touch with have now reconnected with me in whatever way, sometimes, i feel like by being connected to this world, i have given up a sense of who i am to return to the thought of who i used to be.
i often find myself searching through old classmates photos, and nine times out of 10, see that they have went on to graduate, marry and have children. and though i couldnt be more happier for their personal lifestyles, it sometimes scares me to think that these very friends i used to dream with now have accomplished so many more, different things.
do i want to get married? eventually.
do i want to have children? god willing.
but (and theres always a but), somewhere along my path, my dream started focusing on my being. and my personal life became a little bonus. yet, when i find myself scrolling through these pictures, seeing the wedding gowns and learning the new last names - theres a part of my being (i think because i am female and we were innately trained to grow up, get married and have children) that thinks -- maybe ive fallen short.
and then it happens, this change brings on memory. memory of what used to be. memory of who i was then, how i acted, what i did. and from there, without fail, wonder sets in. and i wonder, do i really have it all?
i shut my computer, and i start to think. maybe my dream was selfish. maybe i was too busy working to find this love. maybe i have let multiple opportunities to have it all pass me by.
as i fall deeper and deeper into wonder, i start to think that i have many things that i must do to reverse this curse.
and then my phone rings. a loved one calls.
and then an email comes. my stories were finished by deadline.
and then my cat crawls up on my lap, to snuggle.
and once again i return to the age part of the cycle, and remember that i do have it all.
i have the very all that i wanted. that i took time to create. flaws and all. and what makes my all so special is the fact that its mine. and my road has a personal history that is not measured by a wedding gown, a baby or a new last name alone.
and should you find yourself lost in pictures of friends long gone, it is my hope that you too find that you have it all. not the all that you were supposed to have, but the all that you have created - right now, just as you are.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
a new beginning.
it's sad to say that i have not blogged since august of last year. and for that, like always, i apologize. since then, much has changed. and to that extent, much has remained the same. but i feel before i share any more life lessons or entertaining stories, i should at least update you thus far.
i have officially passed the torch of raising the boys on to a more qualified family member, though never forgetting them. i'd like to think that one day, i will dedicate a memoir or editorial to both carter and jack to thank them for all the things i learned from them. with them, i achieved greatness. they taught me how to be a kid again. they taught me how to enjoy the simple things, like a bouncy ball, a kids meal, a ride around the carousel.
they also told me more important lessons, like how impressionable are humans, how unmeasurable is love and how critical it is to learn at every age. i watched them grow up, learn my name, know me by my voice. i have learned to love them, they have learned to love me and i will forever hold them in my heart.
now, i am a pursuing a more "grown-up" lifestyle and career. i have started working retail in the local mall, greatly enjoying the company of my co-workers, the creativity that it allows and socialization that it provides. already in a month, the words and phrases of "janky," "hot mess," and "right?!" have already started to trickle their way into my vernacular. perhaps one day, these very people who use these terms throughout the day will be avid readers of my blog. and when they are, they will greatly appreciate this shout-out.
more importantly, putting the government's money to use, i am pursuing a full-time journalism career. i am writing and editing for a magazine, and to that end, am thrilled. center city living is a new, glossy, full-color magazine coming out this winter about the thriving uptown of charlotte. check out our website www.centercitymagazine.com and be sure to follow my life there.
but for now, that's about it. this is still me. this is still the same blog that you all love. i just feel its time for a new start, a better routine and a greater development of my passion for writing. though i have been absent for periods of time, for two years now, this has been my joy. i am honored to entertain my friends and family members with the things that constantly fill my head. and it is my hope, you will continue to follow my life's journey as i express it all by doing something i love.
i have missed you all.
i have officially passed the torch of raising the boys on to a more qualified family member, though never forgetting them. i'd like to think that one day, i will dedicate a memoir or editorial to both carter and jack to thank them for all the things i learned from them. with them, i achieved greatness. they taught me how to be a kid again. they taught me how to enjoy the simple things, like a bouncy ball, a kids meal, a ride around the carousel.
they also told me more important lessons, like how impressionable are humans, how unmeasurable is love and how critical it is to learn at every age. i watched them grow up, learn my name, know me by my voice. i have learned to love them, they have learned to love me and i will forever hold them in my heart.
now, i am a pursuing a more "grown-up" lifestyle and career. i have started working retail in the local mall, greatly enjoying the company of my co-workers, the creativity that it allows and socialization that it provides. already in a month, the words and phrases of "janky," "hot mess," and "right?!" have already started to trickle their way into my vernacular. perhaps one day, these very people who use these terms throughout the day will be avid readers of my blog. and when they are, they will greatly appreciate this shout-out.
more importantly, putting the government's money to use, i am pursuing a full-time journalism career. i am writing and editing for a magazine, and to that end, am thrilled. center city living is a new, glossy, full-color magazine coming out this winter about the thriving uptown of charlotte. check out our website www.centercitymagazine.com and be sure to follow my life there.
but for now, that's about it. this is still me. this is still the same blog that you all love. i just feel its time for a new start, a better routine and a greater development of my passion for writing. though i have been absent for periods of time, for two years now, this has been my joy. i am honored to entertain my friends and family members with the things that constantly fill my head. and it is my hope, you will continue to follow my life's journey as i express it all by doing something i love.
i have missed you all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)