for the way you look at me

in honor of the holiday, i am sure you would all deeply enjoy a heartfelt love story. perhaps a great story about how i was swept off my feet. a story of dividing, conquering, all-or-nothing romance.

well, you've come to the wrong place.

the thought of valentine's day makes me cringe. from being in elementary school praying that my paper-plate heart-shaped "mailbox" at the front of my desk would be full to walking around campus in college seeing boys carry flowers and balloons around the brickyard ... valentines has just made me sick and queezy.

but, it is the sacred day of love - and a girl loves to get flowers and chocolate (hitched or sans), so here goes - the top ten things i love.

ten. waking up on a rainy day and finding that the coffee is already made, the couch still has my fleece blanket on it from the previous night and "what not to wear" is running a marathon.

nine. anything "bogo." particularly, shoes.

eight. cleaning up my room, going through things and finding things that make me say, "oh, i remember this day."

seven. good news. i love when someone calls me with something good that i feel that they truly deserved.

six. season changes. particularly, winter to spring. summer to fall. there is nothing more beautiful than a blooming flower and a dying leaf. i truly appreciate the work of god's hand when buds blosom and leaves change.

five. something personal. a hand-written letter, a picture of loved ones, a memento to remember an event. these days, even a phone call or text message from someone estranged seems spectacular.

four. anything with reese's on or in it. reese's could be on my tax form and i'd still love it.

three. chick flicks. perhaps, some people may think this is funny because it's third on my list. but, i cannot deny the art of a well-versed chick flick. the kind that makes you smile through the movie, dream about it at night and think to yourself, "if only i could live in this film for a day." (and you know what i am talking about).

two. learning something new. when i was a nanny, there was never a day that i didn't learn something new. whether it was the love of a child or actually learning what it was like to be a mother, there was never a dull moment. now, working as an editor and a pseudo-decorator, i am constantly learning how better to do things, more efficient ways and better tricks to multiple trades.

one. as cliche as it is, the best thing that i love is knowing that i am loved. there are time when i am down, angered or sad that i think, "there is no way that i can keep going." but then, i realize that there is always someone at home waiting to say, "how was your day?" and a loved one waiting to take your mind off of circumstances. there is nothing more comforting than laughing with friends, reminiscing with family members and being cared for by a significant one.

so here it is. this is my list of the things i love. most likely not the ones that you would expect, but for me - it is perfect.

and may your day of love be perfect, too.

get me there

there are two places that absolutely freak me out. salons and dry cleaners. some of you may laugh, others may wonder "what!? why," but i guarantee you, there are a few people out there that just went, "oh my gosh, me too!" by the end of this entry, at least you'll see my point.

let's back track for a minute. for those of you who know me, you'll know that i love accessories. i love accessories often times more than my outfit. and there was one particular accessory that i was dearly in love with. it was my white coat with black and pink flowers all over it. i purchased the splurge trench while studying in oxford summer of 2004 from a department store called "debenhams." it is known as "britain's favourite department store," and shortly after making my purchase, it became mine too.

after bringing it back to the states and wearing it out (both literally and figuaritively), i decided that it was time my coat took a trip to the dry cleaners. carefully, i checked the tag to make sure that it would be okay. at the dry cleaners, i informed the lady that it was purchased in britain. "no worries," she said. "we can treat it."

treat it, they did. three days later, i went to pick up my luxury item to find nothing but a rag in its place. there, wrapped in cellophane, as if a slap in the face, was a off-white coat with what appeared to be dirty flowers. the color ... completely gone. the elegance ... ruined by the machines. it looked as if a worker took the coat and went sledding in the mud. then bleached it once they saw what happened.

needless to say i was livid. but alas, there was nothing the cleaners could do. it was ruined and my fear of dry cleaners was sparked forever. years later, back to just a few months ago, i took my beautiful down comforter to the cleaners. i was so panicked to drop it off, that i drove around with it in my trunk for over two weeks, trying to get up the nerve.

like a mother dropping off a baby, i finally let it go thinking, "dear God, if this comes back off-white, i'm starting a real dry cleaning business." again, i warn the lady that it's down and that if she is unable to treat it, please don't agree to take it. but, she says she can handle it.

i leave. and say a prayer.

on the flip side, there is the salon. i am not sure if this one trumps the cleaners, though i do love my hair as well. it seems that no matter where i go and who i go to, i have the greatest fear that when i leave the salon, i will need to visit the wig shop. i can not even begin to tell you the anxiety that comes over me as i sit in that chair and try to explain how i want my hair fixed. and i've tried it all - from friends to strangers, top of the line to coupon cuts. but no matter where i go, it's the same scenario.

beautician: what do you want done today?
me: just some reshaping. it's curly. i don't want the 'triangle' look.
beautician: ok, i'm going to cut it dry.
me: WHAT!?

from there, it goes downhill. it's as if, hair stylists ask, but don't listen. and no disrespect to them, but it scares me to give my control away. and then to think, i am paying them for this. i am paying to lose control. and sitting in the chair today, having these exact same feelings rush over me, the lightbulb comes on. "stop paying to lose control!"

if only salons and dry cleaners could pay me. as if a, "thanks for letting us control this that belongs to you."

yet, despite the anxiety attacks (and the rare bleached coats), i have to say that overall, i end up pleased with the services of salons and dry cleaners. a cleaned, bright white bedspread back on the bed and no longer in the trunk. a shaped hairstyle, instead of a triangle tucked away by bobbypins. but, like going to the gym ... it's only good once i'm in the door. and the hardest part is getting me there.

to work or not to work.

yesterday, while sitting on my couch, enjoying my day off - i sat here thinking, "man, i love this life." i got to sleep in, started the day off with some good ol' dr. phil, and enjoyed laying around in my pajamas. about twenty minutes after waking up, my publisher e-mails me that he will not be in attendance to the meeting that he set up on thursday. minutes later, i remember that i forgot to schedule a photographer. seems the only thing i remembered to do accurately was to purchase my outfit for my debut interview with professional athletes (and forget not, i have a HUGE crush on one!)

so much for laying around. immediately i go into panic mode, attempt to find a replacement to go with me to calm my nerves - and schedule a photographer within three days of a massive event. so much for being prompt. soon after panic mode, lauren saves the day by agreeing that she will go with me. thank god for another connection to sports and the media. one task down, many to go. about an hour later, while still makeup-less and in pajamas, my publisher asks if i can come into the office to take a picture for my identification badge that i'll need on thursday.

oh god. i look a "hot mess."

like a miracle, thirty minutes later i am out the door. rushing ... to work. on the way there, my manager calls and asks if i can work tomorrow. unfortunately, i cannot. for an unknown reason even to myself, i scheduled a trip into my past to watch the boys on yet another, day off. now, i'm stuck thinking, "why, oh why, do i do this to myself?"

after getting my id badge, i get lost on my way to my publisher's office. thinking i knew where i was going, only to later realize that my boss moved offices without telling me, i look like a lost mice in a maze of cubicles. and feel incredibly stupid when he has to call me ten feet away to guide me to his new mouse hole.

out the door, and back home to enjoy the rest of my so called day off - and i realize, there's no way i'll get a photographer. "oh well, i'll just go and be star struck. at least i'll look cute," i think to myself. back at home, i then remember that i postponed my other work to go into the office for my other job. two hours later, i have given up and think to myself, "i should have just went to work."

three days ago, i was top sales for the day on a day that i didn't even punch in. now, on a day off, i realize that i had more work than if i was actually at work, getting paid. perhaps i'll start a new trend. work when i am not supposed to work. don't work when i should.

i'll keep you posted on how that goes.
'til then, it's back to dr. phil and relaxing. never mind the fact, that today i am actually getting paid for it.

so far, so good.