as i sit here with my bible open in front of me, i am suppose to be creating ten weeks of lesson plans for my sunday school class full of seventh grade girls. beside me, a baby monitor echos the sweet sound of the ocean as the little boy sleeps ever-so-quietly upstairs in his crib. and to my right, there is my cell phone and my wallet -- both which haunt me daily for taking away my time, money and energy.
yet, the only sound that matters today -- is the sound of a television. for on this television, and echoing all throughout the nation, is the sound of a virginia tech convocation, only a day after the largest massacre in united states history.
as a high school student, i remember listening to one of my history teachers, mrs. allred, always teling us about the day when something happened. whether it was the memory of a president's assassination, the challenger falling out of the sky or martin luther king, jr. declaring that he had a dream... i remember being envious and ironically sadened that i, myself, did not have something that i could say "i remember where i was when this happened."
then, columbine occured and it shook the way my high school defined safety. as we discussed classroom safety, composed stories of heartache and remembered this tragic day -- i do remember sitting in my english class the day it occured. i remember where i was, what desk i was sitting at and exactly what my teacher looked like.
school saftey was no more.
only three years later, i remember walking in the classroom of mrs. allred's history class to see the television display one of the towers being rumaged by the plane. i vividly remember throwing my bookbag down, and running down the long, straight hallway, yelling at students and teachers alike to get in their classrooms and turn on their tvs. our prinicipal demanded that we turn off our televisions and remain focused on our school work, yet i remember hiding in my teacher's office with the radio telling us about the day the world trade centers fell.
our nation was no longer invicible.
and yesterday, i watched as a madman was released on one of our fellow campuses, only to take the lives of thirty two innocent lives. there is no explanation, no reason, nor any problem too deep that can explain nor justify this action. yet, as i sat there all day yesterday and all today watching this sorrowful and somber community unite after its terrible tragedy, my heart breaks for ever being envious of wanting to be able to say, "i remember where i was when this happened."
now, only twenty two years young, i have seen the safety of our schools, nation and college campuses be challenged and taken away and i am a lost of words to even begin to explain what this must be like for these students. all i know is that while i was at north carolina state university, i loved my school. i felt safe within its walls, within its classrooms, within its air space. i felt that i lived in a bubble and no one could ever do me or anyone around me harm. i was privileged to complete four wonderful years without tragedy, yet even still i feel that i am a part of this one.
every college student, every alumni from any school, and everyone is affected.
my heart mourns for all virginia tech students on this very tragic day. my prayer now is that these students will again be able to rebuild and reform their lives, not focusing on the horror of an incident, but the renewal of a passion for their university, their lives and their community. and my prayer for the rest of us, is that we too, while focusing on this pain and sorrow, will remember not where we were when this incident occured, but to realize that even when we feel our lives are tough and unbearable, we are blessed beyond all measure. may we again, put our lives in perspective.
and may god be with virginia tech.
