glamorous

its seems within this past week, all things have been pointing to one thing -- glamour. this week, my new glamour magazine came wrapped in the mail proudly welcoming fall fashion, love tips and another split-second workout. at church sunday morning, my beloved pastor spoke on remembering your roots. he told the story of moses, how he was placed in a basket and shipped down the river in a mother's mere attempt to avoid pharoahs slaying.

moses was rescued by pharoahs daughter and lived a lavish life of the top-of-the-line luxury. yet, at the end of it all -- moses left everything he had to go back to his roots ... his people. for moses, the important thing wasnt all the fancy he had lying around him, but taking his people and leading them into the promiseland. my pastors message was simple, yet it stayed with me all week long ... whenever you get caught up in the glamorous, remember where you came from. remember your roots. remember the days when you had nothing, but had everything.

then throughout work this week, i have watched as glamour has unfolded on the left in the right. everyday, i drive through a beautiful neighborhood full of brand-new exquiste houses of three and four stories. i pass by expensive cars and drive carefully by little children cruising on expensive powered wheels. inside, i spend my day providing care for two beautiful children while their parents slave away in the workfield to create a better life for themselves.

now dont get me wrong.
follow my point throughly.

i have no problem with nice cars and big houses or even working fulltime to make a living. yet all around me there are signs of people saying 'i do this so i can provide this.' whether its a bigger house, a better car, more toys .. theres always something that people are constantly trying to work toward in order to gain something greater. and somewhere along the way, they pass too quickly by the life they are aiming so high to establish.

look at me. i kicked my butt everyday in school for the past seventeen years to make myself something. i went to a well-known university and studied for four years with an honor title to create a better life for myself. i was told that i needed to grow up to be the best i could be. that whatever i dreamed of, i could be. that whatever i wanted, i could become.

but somewhere along that path --
dreams became cars.
goals became exotic vacations.
aspirations became mansions.

and somewhere along the way --
it happened to more people than me.

everyday i watch as carter and jack grow up before my eyes. not yet a mother, i have witnessed the first tooth, the first roll-over, the first baby food, the first crawl, the first stand. and while i could not be more proud and honored to be in this position, it breaks my heart everyday when the parents come home and i tell them the good news of their childrens daily accomplishments and they say "oh, i wish i would have been here to see that."

yet, here is sit ... paycheck to paycheck. writing down bills in my registery and writing a tithe check praying that god will once again come through. i dont own a big house, a fancy car or take exotic vacations. my nights on the town consist of dinner and a movie. and if im lucky, a high school football game to cheer on my churchs youth.

sometimes i cry.
sometimes i wonder.
sometimes i pray.

why, oh lord is this my life?
why do i sit here and wonder where my next miracle is going to come from, while others slave away trying to acquire even more?

but then, i hear it -- "dont forget where youve come from."
the glamorous lifestyle may be fun for a while -- but no matter where you are on the financial or social ladder, there are always going to be people still climbing, trying to just get ahead. for me, as i drove home on this friday afternoon blasting my new and fabulous fergie cd, i turned on number six, glamorous.

"we're flying first class up in the sky,
we're poppin' champagne, living the life,
in the fast lane,
oh, but i won't change by the glamorous,
oh, the flossy flossy."

i hate to say it, but its my theme song now. if in one week, so many signs can point to one thing -- then for me, this one thing must be true. while the glamour is nice, the life your living is even greater.

i wont change by the glamorous.